Avoid the con! (Jude 1:17-23)

The emotional are always the most susceptible to manipulation (Pamela Meyer).

ONCE UPON A TIME, IN AFGHANISTAN

As a chaplain, I am used to people being  uncomfortable with religious leaders and, at times, even quite dismissive. Very rarely, however, are they actively hostile. But there was this one time …. I had arrived in Afghanistan in early 2019 for a six-month tour. Naturally, I met with commanders and senior leaders, building relationships so that I could effectively minister to their Airmen. There was this one Commander, however, who made it abundantly clear that she had zero use for me, my Chaplain Assistant, or our ministry to her Airmen. She sent her 1st Sergeant to tell me that I was not allowed to visit Security Force Airmen at their posts. She literally turned her back to me when I sat next to her. If I spoke in a meeting she attended, she lowered her head, turned away slightly, and busied herself with something else. I was informed over and over again that she had directed I not be allowed much contact with the Airmen in her command. Stymied at almost every turn in my efforts, I finally I had had enough. After some wise counsel, prayer, etc., I arranged a meeting with her.

THE RISE OF THE LIZARD BRAIN

When I walked in, she politely invited me to sit down, attempted to make small talk, and then asked what topic of our meeting was. So far, so good! My question to her was, "There seems to be some issue you have with me and working with your Airmen. Can you help me to understand …?" and I listed the various roadblocks and avoidance techniques my Chaplain Assistant and I had noticed in the past few months (see above). Her response was to begin accusing me of talking badly about her, avoiding her, refusing to work with her people, and doing all the things I asked her about! In effect, she aggressively gaslit me. And that's when it happened--the lizard brain showed up.

THE AMYGDALA AND EMOTIONAL FLOODING

Buried deep within our gray matter is a pair of almond-shaped structures called the amygdala. These little structures process our emotions, especially those concerning fear and survival. In effect, they bring about the much-ballyhooed "fight or flight" response. The common name for the amygdala is the "Lizard Brain," and mine went into full force! My face flushed; my breathing rate increased, becoming shallower; my stomach began an Olympics-worthy acrobatic routine; I flooded emotionally. There are few things I hate worse than being lied to and having my character assaulted in such an aggressive manner.

ANTI-MANIPULATION TOOLS

The fact is, manipulators of all kinds target the amygdala. They know that getting the target into their emotions makes that target more vulnerable and less able to defend themselves. The more flooded a target is with emotions, the less likely that person is to think rationally and thereby defend against the manipulation. Jude recognized this back in the first century. He not only warned his readers against the self-centered con artists he knew would invade the Early Church, but he also gave them tools for withstanding those very people.

REMEMBER

Jude 1:17-19 begins with the foundation laid by the "Apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ," and he tells his readers to "Remember." Jude's first guard against the manipulators is to remember what they were told FROM THE BEGINNING, and to evaluate all teachers against these things. He lists four attributes of false leaders:

1. They are scoffers. They purposefully mock or deride those who oppose their ideas, perhaps calling them "losers," "stupid," "retards," "fake," "inaccurate," "phony," and the like.

2. These false leaders follow their own desires, purposefully ignoring Christ's call to follow Him (Mark 8:34).

3. False leaders are divisive, knowing they gain more power when they can turn church members against each other. This most often happens through activating that Lizard Brain!

4. They follow their own nature and not the Holy Spirit, whose fruit is "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23), these being the very antithesis of what living in the amygdala produces.

FAITH

Jude 20a lays out very clearly that a tool against manipulators is the Faith itself. There are seven (7) basics of the Christian faith--resurrection of Christ, the Gospel, Christ's deity, salvation by grace alone, salvation through Jesus Christ alone, monotheism, and the Holy Trinity. Without all of these seven elements, Christianity ceases to become distinct or life-saving. ANY teacher who dilutes the significance of even of these seven is FALSE and is manipulating people for his or her own ends.

DIVINE WISDOM

When Christ ascended to heaven, He told His disciples that He would leave them the Holy Spirit as a "Helper" (John 14:15-17).  The Holy Spirit is a third tool against manipulators (v. 20b). Frankly, Christians are often poorly trained in listening for the Holy Spirit, leaving them open to the unholy spirits of manipulative and false teachers. The Holy Spirit promises comfort, counsel, and guidance to each individual believer. To give up reliance upon the divine Spirit within each believer to any other person is to open oneself to the manipulative tools of the those who prey upon the weak.

LOVE AND LIFE

The fourth tool is found in verse 21--"keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for … eternal life." Simply put, false teachers cannot bring love or life. They will not teach followers to "Love the Lord … God with all … heart … soul … and mind" (Matthew 22:37-38). False teachers will only teach followers to love the false teachers! By virtue of this fact, false teachers also will not teach followers to "love [their] neighbors as [themselves]" (Matthew 22:39). Instead, false teachers will point out the "neighbors" as "rapists, murderers, morons, imbeciles, trash" and wreckers of all that is good and right in the world. They are willing to put these "neighbors" into concentration camps with subpar conditions. They demean the others as less than human. Jude reminds us that our neighbors are worthy of God's love, worthy of being treated as made in God's image, and just as able to gain eternal life through Christ as anyone else. Anything less is false.

MERCY 

Finally, Jude reminds his listeners of the tool of mercy ("Be merciful … show mercy", verse 22-23). Too often, we confuse "mercy" and "grace." "Mercy" is God not giving us what we deserve; "grace" is God giving us more than we deserve. When the false teachers are screaming "Judgment" and attempting to ignite that amygdala, the believer is remembering that "mercy triumphs over judgement" (James 2:13). In no way is Jude saying wrongdoers should not receive the consequences of their actions. Instead, he is reminding his readers (and us) that how we judge others is how we are asking God to judge us (Matthew 7:1-7) and that God, in the end, is responsible for final judgment (Romans 12:19). Jude here is in line with Paul's admonition to care for one's enemies (Romans 12:20). In this way, evil is overcome by good (Romans 12:21), making this tool particularly apt at creating global change!

CONCLUSION

Manipulators come in many forms. Some con; some gaslight; some bully; all can be resisted by these five tools:

1. Remember the warnings given in the beginning ("There is nothing new under the sun" [Ecclesiastes 1:9]);

2. Know the basic elements of the Christian Faith and stay true to them, above all;

3. Rely upon the wisdom of the Holy Spirit;

4. Seek that which brings love and life to others (life-giving leadership!);

5. Show mercy as mercy was shown to you.

--> By the way, how did I respond to the emotional flooding produced by that commander's gaslighting? I relied upon the basic elements of military leadership, and, seeking love and life for the Airmen of that base, I elevated my case to a higher level more likely to listen. The rest of the tour got better, somehow, and I was able to do my job without further hindrances!

REFLECTION

1. Describe a time you resisted manipulation and emotional flooding. What tools were used?

2. Describe a time when you emotionally flooded. Which of these tools would have helped?

3. How do you bring life and love into your leadership?

4. When was mercy shown to you? How do you pay that forward?