Engage!

Angry ... frustrated ... rigid--this is how my good friend presented himself the last few times we spoke on the phone. His expectations of others were unreasonable, and because of those unreasonable expectations, he developed a “savior” complex, i.e., only HE could meet those expectations! His workplace had become thorny; his family life had become ulcerous; the joy in his life had dissipated. There was no rest, no joy, no ability to see past the immediate and the urgent! He was in the dark throes of burnout.

Burnout is defined as a “state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress” (See more here). I described my experiences with burnout in a previous blog post (here), and received so many comments that I thought I'd address it again! As a reminder, burnout can look like this:

• Lack of Balance;

• Skewed Perspectives;

• Unmanageable Expectations;

• Full “Lone Ranger” mode;

• “Savior” complex;

• A lack of creativity;

• No space to think;

• A life without joy;

This morning, however, I held a conversation with a completely changed man. His perspective on work, family, life, future, etc., changed, and he can see a much broader picture.  The future is rosier, the path clearer, and balance has been restored. All was well in his world.

What caused such a drastic change? He did the following:

• Intentionally planned to build balance back into his life, if only in small ways;

• Slept;

• Took a day/week/month off of work to decompress (and sleep!);

• Found something that inserted joy into his life and began practicing it regularly;

• Stopped to drink a cup of “Tea. Earl Gray. Hot” (like Captain Picard);

• Lowered his expectations or better managed the expectations put upon him;

• Gave himself a little more grace;

• Found space to get away from the stress;

• Re-engaged healthy self-care;

• Connected with a buddy to talk it all out

The key? INTENTIONALITY! Remember what Coach John Wooden said:

• How will you intentionally engage your burnout this next week, this month, this year?

• Build a plan and share it in the comments!